Grace is Scary

*Note from Adam: While preaching at a church last week, I shared the events detailed in this blog. My personal experience hit home with several people in the service, and I remembered that I had written this post about it back in September 2014. I felt it was worth re-posting. Praise the Lord for His marvelous grace. The original post is shared below*



A couple of days ago as I was getting ready for work, and I was suddenly overwhelmed with a sensation of fear.

My legs began quivering, my hands began shaking, and I started getting short of breath. I was scared. Of what, you ask? Of hell.

I've been a believer for eighteen years this month. I'm also a preacher. You'd think those two things would keep this from happening. But on this day it didn't.

The fear that I might spend eternity in hell, suffering forever, overwhelmed me like it hadn't in years. I panicked. I almost had to sit down. I started praying, asking God to confirm to me that I was His child.

Then, like a student flipping out because he's got a final coming up that he hasn't studied for, I decided to do a little flipping out myself.

Why, do you ask? Because I haven't been nearly good enough.

Sure, I placed my faith in Christ. Sure, I've trusted Him for salvation. Sure, I asked Him to forgive me of my sins and be my Savior back in '96. But... grace is scary.

It's scary because I haven't been nearly good enough. Tell me all you want about how it's not about my own works or my own efforts. Let me tell you, buddy, when the reality of eternity hits you square in the face, you start looking at yourself.

I'll say it again. I haven't been nearly good enough. Not before I became a Christian, and not since. I still wrestle with some of the same sins I did ten years ago. I think things and say things when no one's looking that surprise people. I haven't been nearly good enough.

So there I was, panicking. Trembling. Almost in tears. I told God again how sorry I was for my failures. I apologized for not being a better Christian, reminded Him of all the dark secrets and thoughts that haunt me.

Here's what I told Him: "I hope, I really hope this grace this is true. Because if it isn't, I don't have a prayer."

Guess what? You don't either. Grace better be as good as I've been talking about for months on this blog. It better be as powerful as I preach about in the pulpit. It better be as revolutionary and radical as the New Testament says it is.

It is. It's scary, but it's true. It's risky, because you're not in control, but it's true. It's unconditional, uncompromising, unabashedly radical. Far more radical than you think it is, because you try to balance it with works. Sorry, it won't be balanced. It won't be earned.

It'll be given... by a loving Father who lavishes it upon you simply because He delights in redemption. By a loving Father who meets His wayward child at the top of the hill, throwing His best robes onto the prodigal before the son can even open his mouth to lay out his best plan for "doing better."

So grace is scary. But it's good. Kinda... like God sometimes, eh?

To finish my story, God overwhelmed me with this scary grace. I dared to trust Him. I got up, dusted myself off, and smiled. Why could I smile? Because God was smiling. At me. Because in His eyes, I'm righteous and redeemed. I'm covered by the blood of His Son.

Grace is scary... but it's true.

Adam is a husband, father, preacher, and teacher

living in Mayfield, KY. You can follow him 

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